Out of the closet

I got this from Dimmy, who I’ve decided is a closet feminist: 

A poem for us….
I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
Don’t go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.
My beauty’s a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I’m wrong.
I don’t drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don’t have a problem,
admitting I’m lost.
I never forget,
an important date.
You just got to deal with it,
I’m usually late.
I don’t watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don’t need instant replay,
to remember the score.
I won’t lose my hair,
I don’t get jock itch.
And just cause I’m assertive,
Don’t call me a bitch.
Don’t say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry’s best.
Look at me you idiot…
Not at my chest????
I don’t have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you’re lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON’T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.

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21 Responses

  1. No, this was not an attempt to lose my anonymity – thanks for pointing out the unintended tag-on at the end!

  2. Ooh, ooh, ooh 🙂
    Who is this Dimmy?

    And what does your comment mean?

  3. Read the Cast of Characters. Comment was in reply to an ‘nonnymous comment!

  4. And now your secret is safe with me ….

  5. You *are* irritating! Now tell me who!

  6. What’s in it for me?

  7. An entry in my cast of characters?!

  8. Humbug.

    Being nice and all, my lips are sealed.

    And I only just corrected the misspelling.

  9. Misspelling?!! You were talking about the same post being posted a number of times…

    Now, Australia?!

  10. Observer was previously knows as Observor.

    Australia? Sure, Vegemite and all…

  11. Yeah, I noticed. Vegemite? Yuck!

  12. You hardly seem like the Marmite sorta gurl…

    🙂

  13. Dang. Back to Observer…

  14. ‘Tis tough, no? To get out of the habit, I mean… C’mon, who is this?

  15. Habit? But I’m no nun!

  16. Should that give me a clue?

  17. It may. Then again, it may not. I’m not a nun. But I’ve done my bit for religious harmony.

  18. Hm. C’mon, you may as well tell me!

  19. This post is seriously in trouble of not being on the first page anymore. Pity.

  20. Doesn’t matter, now I know who you are.

  21. I am glad to hear. But reading is believing. So.

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