The problems of not being single…

So much has been written on the woes of being single in India (that’s three links), that I thought it was about time someone dealt with The Other Side. Just think:

The attribution of singlehood: Aunts, uncles, grandparents all deciding it’s about time something’s done to change your singlehood. To be completely fair, they’ll check with you – “So, is there someone…” And if you are single at the time of asking, or at least, not ready to be married off to whomever you might be seeing, you are deemed ‘marriageable’ and efforts to find the ‘suitable boy/girl’ will begin. As we say in legalese, it’s an irreversible presumption of singlehood.

The denial of declaratory rights: Woe betide you if you belong to the ‘liberal’ arm of a conservative extended family. For the extended family cannot be told of your non-single status, except for a few ‘liberal’ members, and then the whole question of who is told what and who is not told what and what can be said before whom and what can’t… what a tangled web we weave, when first we begin to deceive… Anyway, you can’t stand up and declare “I’m seeing someone, and no, I don’t know whether I’ll marry him!”

The ‘single-goal’ assumption: This refers to the assumption that if you’re seeing someone, and both parties are ‘settled’ (read: have jobs), the relationship has to become marital at some point. As long as you’re in college, you can have a ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’, but once you’re ‘settled’, the least you can have is a ‘committed relationship’.

The freedom of association: Or lack thereof. You’ve been seen in public with the Significant Other? Marriage is on the cards. How can you be seen in public with other members of the opposite sex, now? Faithless, you are!

Ah, the joys of singlehood!

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3 Responses

  1. wel, when i was leaving for uni, my aunt braod-mindedly gave me permission to find any guy i wanted… as long as he was… hindu… south indian… tam bram… preferably iyer…
    families are great! 😀

  2. I had a good mind to delete that comment for being so badly written – Vinaya!!

  3. Sorry… I will mind my grammar syntax and spelling henceforth, Ma’am! 😛

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