and everyone else here…

for making this university a safer place. Of course, safer. Now I know I am not secure even in a classroom, I can be on my guard. That makes it safer for me, doesn’t it?

And the entire university, of course; for in remaining mute, you are complicit in the behaviour of that class. It is no longer beyond our collective social imagination as a university that a teacher is harassed for not being a disciplinarian, and then that she is forced to quit over the harassment.

Congratulations!

Today I want to say thank you…

to one of my classes. Thank you for opening my eyes to a new site of harassment at this Univ. Harassment that is directed only at women faculty members. Harassment that you say is justified because the victim is unable to maintain discipline in the class. Harassment that you think is a reflection not on you as perpetrators, but on her, and her “incompetence”. Harassment that, tomorrow, I may face, if I am not enough of a disciplinarian.

You’ve now shown me why we as a faculty are so defensive in our interactions with you. You’ve warned me, and warned me well. You’ve shown me what can happen if I cannot exert authority. You’ve sounded the first gong in the death-knell of democracy in my classroom.

You may think I’m overreacting, that, after all, I have never had any problems with the way I conduct classes. That since I’ve managed to strike the right balance today, I have no reason to worry about tomorrow. Do you realise how carefully thought out my ‘easy camaraderie’ with you is? You’ve just shown me that the moment you decide that I’m not a disciplinarian, the minute you find that we can be friends, as soon as you have a say in how the class is run, you will think that it is acceptable to call me names, to catcall me, to use sexual and other abuse towards me.

Even more scarily, since the only reason you don’t do this to me is fear of the discipline I impose, you’ve shown me what you say and think of me behind my back…

How can I ever face your class again without feeling vulnerable? How can I face you?

Sleep… again

I tried to catch up on sleep yesterday, but some inconsiderate idiot was blaring forth on his cell phone outside my window and I couldn’t see him to yell at him… whattodo? Couldn’t go back to sleep either, which means am feeling worse now than before!

Sleep

is overpowering… I’m recovering from the effects of a late night movie combined with freezing nearly to death on the back of a bike, and I’m discovering that college is not the best place to do this! What happened to the me who could do night movies for three nights in a row and still be at work promptly at nine (even though developing a bit of a caffeine based maniacal edge by noontime)? Lost, ah lost in the mists of time…

The movie I saw – Rang De Basanti. Really, as the long long day wears on, I’m beginning to doubt if it was worth it… Lots of eye candy, anyway! Aamir Khan to Atul Kulkarni through Madhavan, Siddharth and Kunal Kapoor – quite yummy – multicuisine, as they say! Excellent performances from everyone, all round, so nothing to complain of there. What is to complain about is that the film takes its own time to move in the first half and then hurries up in the second half so much that it becomes quite unbelievable…

Republic Day

No, not about Republic Day, just to point out that it is today.

Bought three books. Two Richard Gordons and a Pratchett. Yippeee!! Books make me feel rich. V. rich!! Second hand books are even better…

Lazy, contented day…

The GRE and whatnot

Actually, this post’s not about the GRE. It’s more about the passport office’s inefficiency. In fact, it’s about how hyper we get in times of stress. Or maybe it’s about how stressed we get when we’re not together. About all these things?

My sister’s writing the GRE. She needs a passport as proof of id for the exam. She applied for a passport. Thanks to the abovementioned inefficiency, she hasn’t got the passport in time for the exam. So she had to reschedule her exam. She (in Manipal) spoke to our dad (in Delhi). He got hyper about her not studying hard enough for her college exams (no, don’t ask me what the connection is – I don’t know). He spoke to our mom (here). Who, thankfully, told him not to get so hyper. My sis wanted to speak to me (here). I didn’t notice her messages coz my phone was inside my bag. When I did, she refused to speak to me, coz the world (everywhere) hated her.

Result: I now keep my phone on my table.

Bright and sunny

That’s how today is – with a nip in the breeze that makes me want to cuddle under a blanket. My sparrows are back for good, they’re chirruping outside my window like a happy good morning song.

Was discussing this whole GD thingie with mum, and she was telling me about something called the JoeHarry window. Apparently there are four aspects of self – the Open self (things you know and I know about me), the private self (you don’t know, I know), the blind spot (you know and I don’t know) and I don’t remember what the last was called but it was you don’t know and neither do I. The most effective people are those whose open self is the largest, and the open self can only be made larger by making the others smaller – so either I tell people about myself, or I get people to tell me stuff about me… interesting, huh? Even more interesting, she kept saying Johari window and I didn’t realise till she told me, that it was not an Indian name!!